I am glad that my husband doesn't pay that much attention to my blog because he would have a stroke if he read this. So, I remember that before we decided to have Sawyer I had baby fever....bad. At first it started out with me looking at pictures of babies on facebook and seeing them at Walmart and getting all excited for the time that Josh and I would have one of our own. Then that slowly turned in a slight feeling of jealousy anytime a fb friend would post that they were pregnant or I would see a picture of a baby. Then that turned into me googling pregnancy and baby names and then my sister in law had a baby and I seen Josh holding him in the hospital room and my baby fever was full on! Okay, quick note to husbands - if you don't want your wife to have baby fever or if you don't want her baby fever to become worse, DO NOT HOLD A BABY! Big mistake!!! So I couldn't take it after that, I had to have one. I mean, I couldn't live without being pregnant any longer. People always asked us about babies and we always played it cool too. "Hey, when are you guys going to have a baby?" Us - "Oh, not for a long time....we are just enjoying being married right now." While really all we could think about was having a child of our own. I mean that's normal right? You want people to be surprised when you announce your big news. So anyways, we were pregnant not long after and my baby fever disappeared quick, fast and in a hurry. I remember being 8 weeks pregnant and I had done nothing but puke or feel like I was on the verge of puking. I remember laying on the couch panicking over the thought that I just might die from all the puking and that I didn't even remember what normal felt like anymore and I wasn't sure if I would ever feel normal again. Ya, sounds dramatic....but you actually think those things. I mean, I think that when I have a 24 hour stomach bug so 2 weeks of it had me begging God for mercy. Well, lucky me had morning sickness for the whole 9 months...yay! I had a super rough delivery that scared the living daylights out of us and if circumstances had been different it could have actually killed Sawyer and then to top it off Sawyer was not the definition of an easy baby. He screamed non stop for months. At that point, I didn't think I would ever, ever, ever, ever have baby fever again.
Where am I now? The beginning stages of baby fever. God is smart. He somehow programmed women to be gluttons of punishment. Your life is turned upside down, your body goes through changes that is just not even imaginable or describable, you experience pain and fear like you have never known before (hopefully you have never experienced before) but then less than 2 years later all of the details become extremely fuzzy and somehow us women remember the experience as pleasant, wonderful, and totally manageable. Some women even do this sooner. Okay, there is an exception: some women (lucky ducks) have extremely wonderful pregnancies and the labor goes smooth and their babies are very mild mannered. I can totally understand why they would want to do it all over again. I envy them, however for a lot of women this is not the case. And that my friends, is why God made women the way we are. I know if you put a man through that, the kid would be an only child.
So as I was saying, Sawyer is so much fun these days!! He is still a little difficult to keep up with and he is still a ball of energy, oh also he has hit the terrible 2s a little early. Tantrums and the word no are a regular thing around here. However, I see that everyday he learns soo much and that everyday he becomes easier to enjoy and he makes me laugh and smile so much. My heart is entirely full of love for him and we are so proud of what an awesome being he has become in less than 2 years. So even though I am not ready just yet to put myself through that torture, I am ready to get ready...make sense? I have a vacation that we have already booked to Florida next June, and I don't want to be pregnant or have a newborn for that so I am thinking anytime after that maybe. We will see how we feel then, but Sawyer will be over 2 years old by next summer and that would make him 3 or older before we have another and I think that is a good amount of time to have between 2 children. Hopefully, Sawyer will be potty trained and sleeping a big boy bed and talking well by then and that would make life so much easier. Not to mention maybe he could be more of a helper by then. I think he would immensely enjoy a sibling, maybe not a first but when they were a little older he would have a blast. So yes, I am definitely excited about our future but as for right now I am just soaking in each and every day with my handsome boys and just being us 3. I don't want to rush through these precious years and time with Sawyer. He is still my baby and I don't want to evict him from that status just yet. So here's to me overcoming a fear of mine...something I thought I would never want to do again! I am so thankful that God is preparing my mommy heart and soul. I think Josh's daddy heart will be ready by then too! Thank goodness that God gave us momma's baby fever huh?
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